By Robyn Murray

When I first learned about Leadership Omaha, I knew this was my dream program. Getting to learn about the critical issues that Omaha faces with a group of like-minded people who care about the city and want to build a better future — what could be better? As a policy wonk who loves getting into the weeds of why things work and as someone who can never seem to narrow down my interests to one field, this experience sounded tailor-made. 

The only problem — those other people I was excited to meet… I had to not only meet them, I had to do a crash course get-to-know-them weekend where we would not only spend nearly every hour together for two and a half days, but we would also be sharing our personal stories, playing ice breaker games and even doing skits. Oh, and we’d be sharing a hotel room with a roommate we’d never laid eyes on. 

Policy wonk, check. Curious about everything, check. Cares about this city, check. Extrovert who loves hanging out with strangers… not quite.

For the week leading up to our opening retreat at Mahoney State Park, I was super nervous. And as I drove along I-80, I thought at least once about turning around and calling in sick. But some good advice from a friend and previous LO graduate kept me going. She told me to say yes. Say yes to everything I could. Even if I felt nervous or hesitant, just go for it anyway, because it will be worth it. 

And yeah, she was right. 

The retreat started off with introductions and a few words from our curriculum committee, who were also LO graduates. My fellow LO class members were impressive but not intimidating. It seemed everyone wanted to be there, and we all wanted to create a safe space where we could get to know each other and feel comfortable. The tone was set by our group leaders, Daniela and Alexander, who were welcoming, warm and excited to get to know us all.

One of our first activities was a three-minute listening exercise. We broke into groups of four, were handed three questions to choose from, and each of us took a turn responding to the question for three, uninterrupted minutes. As the speaker, three minutes did not end up feeling that long. But as a listener, three minutes felt like an inordinate amount of time not to jump in with a question or share a thought. Listening without preparing your own interjection really changes the experience. You actually listen. 

The first day ended with a group activity that further helped to break the ice, although the ice was pretty well-cracked after sharing and hearing from each other all day. The game was simple — the moderators called out choices like mountain or beach, coffee or tea, dogs or cats and we all headed to different parts of the room to take our preferred stand. We laughed about the merits of mixing bourbon with coffee versus tea and the sparse numbers of “cat people” in the room. (I mean, really, who are all these dog lovers? Don’t they know dogs smell?!)

We retired to our rooms pretty wiped out. My roommate was a night owl like me (they paired night owls and early risers), and, as it turned out, a chronic insomniac. Unfortunately, I was too exhausted to feel bad as I fell asleep in 30 seconds and she stayed up to watch a movie until way past midnight. But she was used to operating on little sleep. Happily, she was kind and courteous, and we shared the space easily. 

The next morning, some people started their day along Mahoney’s beautiful web of walking trails while others enjoyed the breakfast buffet. (Mahoney did an awesome job of providing delicious food and an array of options for the gluten-free, vegan and dairy-free among us.)

When the activities kicked off, we dove into our Strengths (LO leans into Clifton Strengths, and we all did the Strengths assessment before the retreat began). I’d done several Strengths exercises at work, but Alexander added new perspectives and depth to our conversations that were both insightful and useful. 

The rest of our sessions that day were led by Jeff Shannon, who brought energy and fun to the room. One of the most meaningful was another crash course in getting to know each other. After meeting with our small groups, which we will be working with for the remainder of the 10-month experience, we gathered to share six-minute, uninterrupted monologues telling each other our life stories. We heard reflections on marriages, kids, divorces, losses. One member of our group shared their refugee story; another shared her departure from her faith over their rejection of her trans child’s journey. It was heartbreaking and heartwarming. And if you ever want to feel close to a group of strangers fast, try this exercise. It works. 

We ended the day doing a creative exercise where we each painted a square that came together to form a mosaic. As we took turns standing up, setting our squares in place and sharing what we had painted, it felt like a beautiful moment of so many voices, experiences and backgrounds coming together to create something new. By this time, my nerves had entirely given way, and I was filled with joy to be in the room with this amazing group of people.

After the day’s activities came to a close, we kept the fun going at KC’s Eastside Saloon, which apparently is quite used to opening their doors to 50 LO members arriving at once. We scribbled our names on $1 bills and taped them to the wall, adding to a monumental collection. We toasted each other, heard more about our journeys to get there and celebrated being together on this novel experience. 

On the third day, which ended at noon, we discussed our values and how we make decisions. We talked about difficult issues and how we felt about discussing them. We shared our goals for the remaining 10 months, and many of us listed showing up, listening to learn, connecting, and keeping open minds and open hearts. 

By the close, we felt ready for whatever the next 10 months would bring, knowing we each had 49 new friends to support us on the journey.